On a recent night out at the
Biltmore I noticed something on one of my visits to the facilities – and no
this has nothing to do with dicks or dick jokes. What caught my eye was the
vast amount of graffiti on the walls. I have been to the Biltmore many times
before but this is the first time I really thought about the ink that covers
the bathroom walls so completely. I guess the main query I had was, who wrote
all this stuff?
I
found myself wondering several things about these authors. The thing that stuck
out the most was my curiosity over who brings Sharpies or big fat permanent
markers to the bar? I suppose it would be the same type who carries one around
so they can mark-up mailboxes and bus stops. At least I hope it’s the same
type, it would be even stranger to me to be leaving for the bar and make sure
to grab your marker so you can tag the bathroom. That sort of action shows a
level of forethought towards bathroom artwork, which I find to be
curious/creepy.
Something
else I couldn’t help but muse on was that despite so much writing on the
Biltmore walls and that of many other establishments, I’ve never seen anybody
writing on the walls. Which filled me with questions over wall writing
etiquette. Are you supposed to wait until the room is cleared before you start?
Was the stuff written above the urinal done whilst peeing? Does that ever
result in awkward moments with other patrons? See, now I kind of want to catch
somebody in the act. I think I would get a modest chuckle walking into the loo
to see a guy, junk in one hand and Sharpie in the other leaving his mark.
I
suppose a large part of my interest also goes to the mentality of bathroom
tagging and I guess tagging in general. I fail to see the drive behind it. If,
indeed it is some sort of turf thing or an ‘I was here’ feeling, then wouldn’t
– if caught in the act – the writer turn to me and pump his fist with a little
‘Fuck yeah and shit!’ so I knew it was him. So I knew that I was in the
presences of greatness, that I actually saw ‘Stumpy’ or ‘Togsoner’ or
‘FilthBomb’ in person.
This
phenomenon of bathroom tagging is not contained solely within the lavatory of
the Biltmore. It is something I have seen at dozens if not hundreds of
establishments, as I suspect you have as well. Which means you should be
familiar with the two basic types of privy prose. The first being the simple
‘tag’, which when I think about it is most fitting for the bathroom as ‘tags’
tend to be heaping piles of shit. The second form encountered is the small poem
or comment – things such as ‘Becky Winston is a bitch’ or ‘for a good time call
778-995-5789’ - at least in the men’s room, not so sure about the other side.
It’s
actually what is written in the ladies room that caused me to dwell so much on
the washroom scripture. A day or two before that I was with a friend who told
me of some truly great conversations she read written on the stall door of the
washroom. They sound very much different than what I am used to reading in the
men’s room. This particular conversation started with a girl complaining how
fat and ugly she thought she was or something to that effect. As it turned out
the response was all positive, several comments left behind reassuring this
initial girl that she was wrong and that she was beautiful and other such comforts.
My
friends informed me that this sort of thing is not uncommon, that girls will
often write nice things to each other and try and be helpful to the strangers
who had previously popped a squat in that particular stall. Again something I
found fascinating. This concept opened up a whole new dimension to the bathroom
writing mentality that just leaves me with more questions.
So,
I will put those questions to you. If you, loyal reader, can shed any light on
the practice of bathroom tagging, poetry, conversations and any form of stall
messaging please do. If you have engaged in this practice yourself then help me
understand why? If you have ever caught somebody in the act of writing on the
walls/stalls of a bathroom please share. Lastly, if you for some reason can
recall a particularly memorable piece of writing you’ve read then share that
story.
Best tag I have ever read:
ReplyDelete"I shit at 100%. I can do anything!"
I appreciate some, am disgusted by others, and am indifferent to most. But I do believe its better than staring at a plain, blank, wall.